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  • Writer's pictureBernie

Myth #2 – Isn’t it only the guys who struggle?

18 % of women spend time online every week for the purpose of sexual arousal

18 % of women spend time online every week for the purpose of sexual arousal

It would seem that this is actually true since guys are traditionally aroused visually and are seen as the sexual risk takers. But the alarming reality is that females are consuming porn too and the trend is increasing. With porn being so readily available through the Internet woman are seeking out the same high as the guys. Orgasm releases a powerful combination of oxytocin and dopamine that has been compared to the same high of a “hit” of cocaine. In a world where women are increasingly the victims of sexual violence more and more are finding themselves drawn to the less risky world of Internet porn. Couple that with the added pressure women face to be the same size as a super model (so dudes will pay attention) and you have the perfect set up since porn allows women to live vicariously through the well enhanced performers.

What we know is that roughly 72% of visitors to adult sites are men and roughly 28% are women. According to the folks at Internet Filter Review 17% of women described themselves as being addicted to porn. In an article I read recently from more than one-third of pornography viewers are women. We also live in an era where young ladies are becoming far more sexually aggressive. Those raised on music videos depicting multiple women competing for the attention of the “desirable” male have now adopted a “do whatever it takes” attitude to get the boy.

I can remember receiving an email not long ago from someone I thought was a young man. It turns out that it was actually a young woman. I naturally assumed (the name could have gone either way) just from reading the email that this was the typical scenario where a guy had been exposed at an early age and now finds himself locked in the grips of a deeper struggle. Not so, this was a young woman who had traveled the same path. Sadly as I talk to different groups around the country I’m hearing similar stories of young girls and porn’s impact on their lives.

Everything I’ve read indicates that a common lure for women is the anonymous online chat. They can “talk” to men (or women) and be whoever they want to be. They can easily lose any inhibitions and live out their wildest fantasies bypassing the awkward silence of a real date. With so many females living with a background of abuse, neglect, or just unhealthy sexual experiences the web offers a temporary, albeit gratifying escape.

With Cyberpsycology, Behavior, and Social Media reporting that 62% of girls have seen porn before the age of 18 we can expect that the problem will only become more widespread among women. That same journal reported that 18% of women spend time online every week for the purpose of sexual arousal. There’s no question the guys are still the porn kings, but we can’t ignore the fact that females young and old are drawn in. The reality is, the very nature of sexuality is being altered. Whereas God created sex to be a mysterious, sacred, experience of oneness and intimacy, we’re struggling not to let it become merely a shallow experience of self-centered hyperstimulation for the sake of physical release.

For ladies who are struggling here are a few websites that can help:,,

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